


Sing us a song you're the piano man

by timedemon221b



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Happy Ending, Lucifer is a douchebag, M/M, Self Harm, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-08 00:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1920042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timedemon221b/pseuds/timedemon221b





	Sing us a song you're the piano man

Sam took a long drag off his cigarette and exhaled slowly before dropping the burning stub to the ground. He sighed, and then started to walk back to the motel. He opened up the door and saw his older brother Dean and his dad sitting at the small, cheap table reading the newspaper articles that were spread across it.  
His not-so-quiet entrance made the two men look up. Sam gulped, he knew his dad was going to be mad.  
"Nice of you to finally join us Sam" His father said, a fake smile playing on his lips.  
Sam looked down at the floor. "Sorry sir" he said faintly, not sure if he had been heard or not. He slowly made his way over to where his duffel bag lay and grabbed some clothes and a small knife then shuffled into the tiny bathroom. He lay his clean clothes on top of the toilet seat, then turned the shower on. He waited a moment before stripping out of his unwashed, smoke scented clothes, and then threw those in the hamper. It was his turn to do the laundry tonight, so there was no chance of his dad or brother smelling the smoke. He sat on the edge of the tub and slowly brought the knife of to his arm. One. Two. Three. Four. There goes his one arm. Placing three more deep cuts on the other arm, he stepped in the shower. He watched as the clear water turned pink, all evidence of the harm he had just done disappeared down the drain. He looked down at his arms and knew that at least two of them needed stitches, but he would settle for butterfly bandages. He quickly cleaned the blood off his knife, then started to wash his hair. After he felt remotely clean, he stepped out of the shower and dried off. He snatched the first aid kit from under the sink, then cleaned and bandaged his arms. He threw on an old pair of gray sweatpants and a navy blue sweatshirt, which he was sure was Deans, so that if he started bleeding again the red wouldn't seep through. He shoved the small knife into the waistband of his boxers and walked out and over to the table. "Where are we going now?" He asked, his dad glared. "I uh, I mean what are we hunting now sir?" He quickly fixed his mistake.  
"Not quite sure yet, there were some killings a few nights ago done by some sort of animal in South Dakota. Might be a werewolf, since it was a full moon that night." Dean replied, never once looking at Sam. He sighed inwardly. _"I miss the days when me and Dean were close, he wont even look at me now. I guess he finally realized how pathetic I am."_ Sam thought to himself.  
"Oh thats near where Bobby lives!" Sam said. Neither John or Dean looked up or spoke. "Okay, well uh, I'm gonna go to bed now I guess. Night" He heard his dad scoff at his words. Sam sighed loudly. "What? What the fuck did I do this time dad?" He snapped.  
_"Wrong move Sammy"_ he thought when he saw the anger in his dads eyes.

"Sam Winchester! You will not use that language in this house!" His dad barked at him.  
Sam looked his dad straight in the eyes "Not sure if you knew or not but this, this is not a house. It's a cheap, shitty motel. Learn the difference. We haven't stayed in a real house since mom died." And with that, he quickly grabbed the laundry basket from the bathroom and was out the door before his dad could even blink.  
He walked a few blocks to the laundromat and got to work cleaning the clothes up. As he was waiting for the final load to dry, he took his cell phone out. Two missed texts from Dean. Sam rolled his eyes.

Fr: Dean  
dude, what the hell was that?

Sam ignored it and checked the next one

Fr: Dean  
where r u?

Sam didn't think it was possible for his brother to get any more stupid, but apparently he could. He quickly text back,

To: Dean  
Well Dean, given that it's my night to do laundry and I grabbed the laundry basket before coming, where do you think I am?

He heard the dryer buzz so he went over, took the clothes out, folded them, and put them back in the basket. He didn't want to go home yet, wasn't even close to ready for that fight. He took his phone out again, ignore the three strongly worded texts from Dean, and dialed the familiar number. It rang for a few moments, before the boy on the other side answered.  
"Hey Sammy," Sam smiled, he used to hate anyone except Dean calling him that, but Sam fell in love with the way it sounded coming from Lucifer's lips.  
"Hey Luci, I uh.. I was just out and was wondering if you wanted to hang out?" Sam bit his lip nervously, awaiting a reply. After what seemed like an eternity, the other boy finally spoke.  
"Sure Sammy, meet me at the spot in ten?" Sam grinned, 'the spot' was this little place under a small bridge, they went there quite often, mostly to hook up. Sam thought about how that's all Lucifer seemed to want to do, but quickly dismissed it. _"_  
No, I'm just being stupid. He loves me, he even told me so." He thought to himself.  
He grabbed the basket and started the short walk to the bridge.  
He got there before Lucifer did, like usual. He waited, and smoked and waited, and smoked. Finally, half an hour late, Lucifer showed up with a smug grin on his face. Sam smiled and walked over to meet him.  
"Hey Sammy" The blond leaned in and roughly kissed Sam. "How about we do this quickly? I gotta get home soon, got uh.. Homework and stuff to do." Sam frowned. "  
_"Do this quickly?"_ He thought to himself.  
"I.. Luc, I kinda just want to talk. I had a really bad night and..." Sam blinked back the tears.  
"And what Sam?" Lucifer sounded rather impatient.  
Sam took a deep breath. "And we're leaving tomorrow. I wont get to see you for awhile, but we can text and I'll call you every single night and maybe I could get dad to get me a laptop and we could Skype and-" Sam was cut off abruptly by Lucifer laughing.  
"Sam, oh poor naive Sam. None of that's going to happen" Lucifer laughed again.  
Sam tilted his head, confused. "What?"  
"I don't love you Sam, I don't even like you" Lucifer grinned.  
"B-but" Sam could feel the tears coming. _"This has to be a joke, he doesn't mean this he's just messing around"_ He thought.  
"No buts, Sam. I do not like you. Get that through your thick skull. I never liked you. You were just something for me to play with while my girlfriend was gone" He smirked.  
"Y-your girlfriend?" Sam started feeling the tears run down his face.  
"Oops, forgot to mention that did I?" He smirked again. "Anyways, I must be off. You know, I have so much homework and whatnot to do. Toodles." He waved and walked away, leaving a shocked Sam standing there alone, crying. He fell to the ground and started to sob, he could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket, but he could care less right now. After half an hour, when the sobs died down to small hiccups, he took the knife out of his waistband and made nine deep gashes in his left arm, and 6 sixmore on his right. He now had a total of thirteen on his left and nine on the other. He didn't even try to stop the bleeding, just rolled his sleeves down and let the blood soak through his sleeves, he didn't care how noticeable it was. He snatched the basket or the ground and lit a smoke, then headed for home.  
As soon as he reached the motel room door, he realized how bad he screwed up. He couldn't go in there like this, his hair was a mess and his clothes smelled like smoke. He was also bleeding like crazy and had started sobbing again about 5 minutes ago. He heard someone walk towards the door, and it slowly opened. Dean popped his head out to check if there was danger, and let out a sigh of relief when he saw Sam.  
"Sam where the hell have-" He stopped as soon as he noticed Sam was crying, not just crying but full on body wracking sobs. "Sam whats wrong? What happened? Did something hurt you? Sammy look at me!" He was starting to yell. John came over to the door to see what all the fuss was when he saw Sam.  
"Sam?" The older man asked gently.  
Sam looked up at them and they could see the pain in his eyes. He shoved past them and walked over toward the weapon bag. "Get out" he said, sounding almost emotionless.  
"We aren't going anywhere, Sam. What's going on?" Dean demanded.  
Sam slowly stood up and the 2 men saw the gun in his hand. He turned around to face them. "Get out. You don't need to see this" His voice was completely monotone, as if he had not been sobbing just moments ago.  
"Sam, just put the gun down okay?" John was terrified, then he noticed the blood coming from his sons arms dripping on the floor. Dean must have seen it too. "Sam, why are you bleeding? What did you do?" Sam let out a harsh laugh.  
John took a step towards the young boy, Sam didn't respond well.  
"STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME" He yelled at his father. He started crying even harder as he leaned back against the wall.  
"Sam, tell us what happened. Let's fix this together, okay? Don't do this Sammy, just talk to us man" Dean was trying to hold himself together so he could help his little brother.  
"He-he fuckin lied to me Dean and he-he used me and he..he..." Sam was trying to speak between the sobs.  
"Who lied to you Sam?" John questioned.  
"L-Lucifer. He told me.. Told me that he lo-loved me but he lied dad he fuckin lied and..." Sam's body slid down the wall onto the floor and wrapped his arms around his legs, burring his head into his knees and dropping the gun in the process. John slid it across the floor to the other side of the room.  
Dean ran over and sat beside Sam, holding the younger boy and attempting to calm him, probably both of them, down.  
"Sammy its okay, shh, its alright now" Dean kissed the top of Sam's head.  
John just stared, not knowing what to do or say.  
"No, no Dean it isn't. I-I love him so much, so much Dean and he just used me like some cheap fuck toy" Dean winced at the words, he was going to find this Lucifer kid and kick his ass. But for now he had to focus on Sammy, his crying was starting to slow.  
John was thoroughly confused, he hadn't known Sam was gay until now. "Sam" he cleared his throat, "Are you saying that you're..gay?"  
Sam looked up slightly, his eyes meeting Johns, they were full of uncertainty  
"If I say yes, are you guys gonna hate me?"  
"No of course not Sammy!" Dean pulled his brother even closer. Sam's gaze remained on John.  
"Sam, I could never hate you." He smiled at his son. Sam let out a tiny sigh of relief.  
John had completely forgot about the blood until he saw it had gotten on Deans clothes, as well as the floor.  
"Sam, take your sweater off." He said calmly.  
Sam jolted up and started to panic.  
"No, no its nothing. The blood is from- I just my arm off a sign at the laundromat its okay I'll clean it up and change after don't worry sorry I made a mess I need the sweater though, because I uh, I'm cold.." He was starting to hyperventilate.

"Sam! Look at me" Sam looked to his dad. "First thing, breathe slowly. Take deep breaths okay? You're giving yourself a panic attack." He waited awhile for Sam to slow his breathing down, then Dean spoke.  
"Sam, its either you take the sweater off or I'm taking it off for you." He spoke softly, but made sure Sam knew he wasn't kidding.  
"You could at least buy me dinner first." Sam gave a small forced grin.  
In any other time/place the two men would have laughed at the joke, but not now.  
Dean crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, waiting for Sam to make his move.  
"Its either the easy way or the hard way, your choice kiddo." John said.  
Sam licked his lips and nodded, slowly reaching down and pulling his sweater off.  
Deans first reaction was to run into the bathroom and puke, but he just stared at Sam's mutilated arms.  
"Sammy... What have you done?" Dean asked, his voice cracking.  
John went over and directed Sam to lay on the bed. Dean sat on his left side while John grabbed the first aid kit.  
"Dad, I want Dean to stitch me up." John looked to Dean and he shrugged. "Okay Sammy , whatever you want."  
Dean started to pour alcohol over the gashes, and Sam hissed in pain and grabbed his dads hand. John hadn't held Sam-or anyones-hand in years, it felt strangely..nice.  
"Dad" Sam said quietly.  
"Yeah Sammy?" John was concerned by Sam's tone of voice.  
"Can you- OW" Sam flinches and yelled out in pain as Dean started on the stitches.  
"Sorry Sammy, has to be done." Dean felt awful, he would rather himself be in this pain than his baby boy.  
John tried to distract the young boy. "Sam, hey! Focus on me kiddo. What were you about to ask me?"  
Sam looked at his dad nervously. "Will you.. Sing that song. The one you used to sing whenever me or Dean got sick or hurt? I cant remember the name of it."  
John smiled, he didn't think either of them remembered that. "Piano Man?" Sam's eyes lit up "Yeah that one!" The spark in his eye didn't last long, as the pain overtook him and he groaned. John cleared his throat and started to sing..

"It's nine o'clock on a Saturday  
The regular crowd shuffles in..."


End file.
